At some point in their life everybody wants to move to Hawaii, right? That might be a little bit of a stretch, because some people do prefer the snowy ski runs down a Colorado mountainside, but there’s no doubt that Hawaii is an eternally popular dream destination for lots of people. To mainlanders contemplating a relocation to this area of the world, remember that it’s not all puppies and kittens. There are a handful of issues (we call it reality) that make themselves known shortly after arrival. Here they are in no particular order.

Bugs – Bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs. Crawly things too. Hawaii, like other tropical destinations, specializes in cockroaches, geckos, frogs, mosquitos, centipedes, and even scorpions. If you or a family member are averse to such things, be forewarned!

Nosebleed Real Estate – The land and view is what you’re paying for in Hawaii. Natives

and expatriates fondly (or not so much) refer to the ubiquitous standard as “million dollar shacks.” Uneven foundations and single wall construction don’t provide much of a barrier to tradewinds or the creepy crawlies listed above. Your money won’t go as far in this property market. Decent dwellings start in the $10 million range.

That Aloha Fashion – Do unnatural colors and over-sized flower print clothing make you grit your teeth and turn your head? If so, give a long thought to moving somewhere else. Everyone from families of wondering tourists to high-priced attorneys feel the need to flaunt their aloha spirit.

Sun + Skin = Dermatologist – While many people move to Hawaii for the sun, it’s that very same infernal ball of fire that creates an unnatural demand for dermatologists. To prevent your face from resembling a baseball glove in five years, don’t forget the XXL mu’umu’u or a thick slathering of SPF 40 sun block. Or both.

Island Time – Not entirely indigenous to Hawaii, this laid back approach to deadlines and appointments can be found in the Florida Keys, Mexico, and anywhere else where it tends to get hot. The basic idea is everyone else runs late while you’re expected to be on time. Get used to it.

This list of drawbacks is by no means intended to keep anyone from moving to Hawaii. On the contrary. It’s a wonderful place to go with the right frame of

mind. Just keep in mind that reality intrudes everywhere, even paradise.

The Jetsetter Show Team

Flickr / Smath

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